Coulter Captures Arabia

Anne Coulter's tattered battleship, derided by her critics as the "Pig of War," headed back to America today, after her three week mission during which she Christianized the terrorists, restored order to Iraq, and conquered Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, and France.

Ever adept at psychological warfare, Coulter is said to have horrified the enemy with her battleship, in the form of a pig, much like the American Indians were horrified by the appearance of the first white settlers from Europe.

World commodity markets saw oil futures plummet on the news to the lowest levels in thirty years. But pork bellies are up.